The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
Fires happen all of the time in nature or by accident because of a stove being left on. They can even start because of something out of our control, i.e., electric circuits in our wall overheating. When dealing with a fire, it is always important to stay calm and consider your options. We always run the risk of dealing with panic, but it is the last thing we need when facing this problem. It does not matter what caused the fire at this point, as they only thing that matters is stopping it. There is nothing like a good and old-fashioned fire to cook some meat over, but some of them fires can ruin your day. It may even ruin your week, month, year, or life, but we can learn to appreciate it. These are the 10 ways to extinguish a fire, especially if are intelligent.
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The fact of fire is a truth of our reality, and we must learn to accept it’s inevitability. The flames of life give us purpose, and thus, they cannot be stopped. Even if by accident, the predetermined nature of fire means that we should all be complacent. If push comes to shove, a fire can melt you out of an ice cube, or it can drown all of that psychological pain away. You see it all of the time, and even your friend did it once by putting a cigarette out on his forehead. If your girlfriend just broke up with you, you can burn yourself into a crisp to avoid that heartbreaking agony. As you can see, fire must be stopped, but it also must be embraced. If anything, a fire is your best friend, and it can keep your warm. Unfortunately, a fire must be quelled for the sake of society if it becomes too toxic.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
1. Stop
If you or your house is on fire, the best thing you can do is stop. It does not matter what you do to stop, but it is open for interpretation. You do not want to be doing anything about the fire, at least not yet. If you were listening to music and a spark came out of the socket, then turn the music off. Taking any other kind of action would only make the matters at hand even worse. This is the last thing you want, as stopping will make the fire think that you are not fighting back. Like any strange relationship, you can then expect the problem to just go away on it’s own.
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Fire or flames are no different, as that old flame will just fade away with time. It may take some time, and it may in fact burn your life to a crisp. This is the natural course of action, and it must not be stopped; you cannot do anything about it. If lava were involved, then the stopping would only allow you to burn alive. Since we are talking about fire though, you want to be sure to keep cool and give it some time to breath. The more you shut your mouth, the more they will feel in charge. A few minutes later, the fire will feel bad and go away on it’s own.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
2. Drop
When a fire begins to besiege you or your livelihood, then you must drop whatever you are doing. It can be the car keys at work or the crockpot at grandma’s house — you need to drop it. If you are yelling at the fire, then dropping it is the most practical thing you can do. You may even need to drop yourself, but this is only after you made sure to stop. If you are not stopping, then dropping is the second or third best thing you could be doing. This is something you must always keep in the back of your mind when dealing with a hothead.
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If your family members are on fire, then let them know that losing their hair is okay. You will still love them anyway, but they have to drop down from a cliff to make it go away. If you happened to have had a live grenade in your hands, be sure to drop it. Throwing it will do you no good, as doing this will offer you little in the way of an escape plan. While yelling at the fire will keep you warm, it is barely the best thing you can do. While it works some of the time, it only seems by circumstance that the fire will listen to you. There is no real way to drop yourself, but sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away from the problem. This will help things cool down, and when they’re ready, you can return.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
3. Roll
They say that a night at the bowling alley will do the mind wonders when dealing with personal problems. While the issue may not go away, at least you can roll some balls and hit some pins to keep a fire at bay. If this does not work, then you can always get on the floor and role, even when the fire is several miles away. This is a sign of gratitude, as you are learning to appreciate the fact that it did not happen to you. If your house is on fire, then you can learn to do a couple of other dance moves as well. Keeping at it and doing the role can only be complete when adding the jiggy night groove music to it.
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You can even rock and roll, but this requires a lot of rocks that have been piled up. This becomes too much of a hassle, but this is only because of the far-off fire being all to eminent. If push comes to shove, you can even pull out the guitar and learn to rock and roll with the flames. It will literally blow them away with sound, but in the meantime, it makes for one hell of a show. While the ones you love are being cooked alive, you can promise them of the tailgating barbeque afterwards. If all else fails, then you can even role up a joint and take that evening flame to the lovely hangover the next morning.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
4. Use Water
There is no doubt in my mind that using water when a fire is happening is the most common sense thing you can do. You can drink it, or you can even splash it on a girl’s shirt to have a wet t-shirt contest. There is even an old wives tale that exclaims that you drinking hard ice will keep you cool. If this is the case, then you are probably less likely to be engulfed in flames. Then again, flames are your best friend, which means they will hold on to all of your dirty little secrets. If one flame already has you, then the others will not be so bad and will stay away. You can even drop that little secret at the family table while sipping on some high quality H2O.
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In reality, you want to be give the fire some water, as it helps them cool down as well. The only thing a forest fire is saying is that it needs a little bit of water to freshen up. It is part of the human condition, and we are all going to struggle with dehydration from time to time. If you show that you are a kind and considerate friend, it will be the thought that counts. The fire will appreciate you for it, but have to hand it a bottle. It does not want to be sprayed with water, but spraying around it does an excellent job at stopping the spread from getting worse. The same cannot be said for eating spicy peppers, as water only exacerbates the issue. Unless you are a pyromaniac, you should be looking to avoid enflaming your colon with a midnight dump.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
5. Call the Fire Department
Calling 911 or any other number that represents your personal fire department is a good idea. Even if you do not have a fire problem, you can at least have a nice chat and talk about your suicidal tendencies. They may even show up if you ate too many peppers the night before. The problem is that they will pretty much tell you to do the same as what is mentioned above. They will show up and splash a bunch of water on the fire with a big hose. In times of need, they may even show up to start a fire for you so you can be the one to blame. There will be a bunch of questions asked, and in the end, it feels like a slog.
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Even if the fire was your intention, firemen will come to dampen or flat-out rain on your parade. It does not matter if you are an arsonist or the granny who slipped on a potato skin with a lighter — you’re screwed. Some people make a psychotic living off of setting places on fire, so you can see how this would be at least inconvenient. They will eliminate the fire, but it will more than likely be too late anyway. At this point, it was probably best to embrace the flame as a monk would for the sake of the Buddha. If all else fails, the cremation will have already taken place, and the funeral costs will be next to none.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
6. Jump Into a Pool
If all else ends up in the gutter, you can always have someone else do the work for you. There are times where you can simply call the ambulance and have the cops show up before the fire happens. If this lacks working, then you can wait until the fire goes away before calling the police. It really works, and since we all have the ability to foretell the future, there should never be a fire again. This is why they say that prevention is worth the same as causing the fire to begin with. Although, you may end up being considered the one with their hands in the so-called cookie jar.
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Fortunately enough for everyone, you can always point the finger elsewhere and then jump into an above ground pool. If you are the one who happens to be on fire, this nifty little trick comes in even more handy. You can forget all of the heroics by simply saving yourself and invading your neighbors backyard pool. The party will start, and you will be thanked for bringing the fire. It never hurt to be caught red-handed, but this only applies if you are sober. Regardless of this, everyone always told me that fighting fire works the same ways as fighting a hangover. All you have to do is poor more alcohol over the problem, and the problem shall be fixed.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
7. Run
Remember in Forrest Gump where little Suzie told Forrest to run like hell? Well, that’s what you should be doing as well. You do not need to help those people in need, as you are fine, so why not tuck tail and turn the other cheek. Instead of running away from the fire though, you be sure to run to the fire. This way, you can say that you were the one to jump over the firepit first. There is no need to save anyone, as you are on a search for self-discovery. You can even do a little tribal dance around the flames that involves the entire village.
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The point of running to the fire represents a form of symbolism, and it makes all of the sense in the world. To run from the fire, you must first run to it to feel the pain. Afterwards, you must risk it all and run through the fire as though you escaped, but your fears are conquered. This means that to have a problem to begin with, you must run towards it to then escape it. You can then heroically call the police so that you will be the last one they blame for it happening. You can decide to run a convenience story as well, and this will give you all of the amenities you need for a fire. This does little to stop a petty robber from firing a bullet, but at least you will have an extinguisher and a runner.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
8. Fight the Fire
There’s nothing like putting your dukes up to the man and showing him what you are made of. This is the kind of attitude you should bring to a fire fight, but you have to stand your ground. You do not have any kind of defense except for your two fists and a bottle of liquor, but you sure do mean business. Those brass knuckles certainly help, but you may just end up with a third-degree burn. If you want to fight fire with fire, then we are defeating the point; you have to use it’s one and only weakness of firewater. This is the first and last thing you should do though, as fire is your ethereal enemy.
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Your fists will simply get burned, and the explosive dynamite will make the fire larger. Then again, if there’s beer, then you may have enough water to extinguish the flames. While I am all for causing a fire to prevent a bigger fire later on, this seldom works against enemies. The eternal flame has some of the deadliest attacks, but it all works in it’s defense. You can even call the rain by doing the rain dance to counter their lightning attack. There is little you can do, but if you cover yourself in water, you are also less likely to induce flammability. While this may not work against a bullet, you can at least drink that firewater to numb the pain a little bit.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
9. Reason with the Fire
If fighting the fire with explosions does not help, then an old school debate should come in handy. You should try to tell the fire that what they are doing is not helping by discussing the finer points in life. There is nothing wrong with them intrinsically, but their attitude has got to change. They can come around every once in a while, but they have to stop sleeping on your couch. While you have to set them straight, you also want to consider the fire’s feelings. A fire is just like everyone else out there, and it has to be tamed properly with negative emotion.
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You have got to guilt the fire for their bad feelings, but you have to consider their intellectual abilities as well. This is where a debate comes in, where discussions of value come into play. While it is okay to light fires and create mayhem, the fire should do it to other people. If everyone is telling their fires to cause other people trouble, then we will always have fires. You have to take a principled stand by letting the fire know that others do not matter. If they did, then there would not be so many other fires out there trying to stir up trouble. While they are allowed to spread their love everywhere, only so much oil and gasoline is required for the love to pass.
The 10 Ways to Extinguish a Fire Properly
10. Cause a Fire
As that one guy once said, “You have to have a fire to extinguish a fire.” This should ring true to just about every single one of you, but it certainly has meaning. You must provoke the fire to induce a solution to acquit the flames of chaos. We all rely on problems in our lives, so why not create them so that we can solve them. It is what we are doing anyway, and there’s nothing that will stop us from burning our neighbors house to begin with. I mean, all you have to do is get rid of it once you have it, so it’s easier done than said. Although sneaking up and scaring a fire does some good, the practicality ends when it begins to poop everywhere.
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A fire just wants to be hugged, but your personification can end up with you in an urn. While it can keep you warm and fuzzy, a decent relationship with a fire only exists at arm’s length or closer. You do not want to be too far away, as it will make it all the more obvious when it catches up. To keep yourself from avoiding to drown in your own misery, you need to keep the flame alive. It will eventually grow old and die, but why avoid it if it will come back again anyway. If nothing helps, then you may even be able trick the fire by feeding it so much that it explodes. By doing this, you are setting expectations that you want it, so it will choose to stay away. If it asks you who did it, just be sure to blame the neighbor.
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