10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
Be it a guy or girl, hitting on someone can be difficult, as it leaves you open to failure and ridicule. We all want to succeed, but it takes more than desire to always make this work. Oftentimes, we are our own worst enemies, and this can even cause problems with trying to begin with. If you want to make the most out of getting to know someone, you have to practice and put in the effort. These are the successful 10 ways to hit on someone, but you have to want to do it right.
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Even if learning may take some time, it should always end up working out in the end. You are not always going to be successful, but this is nothing to take too seriously. There are always going to be people out there that do not like you, and this just means that they are not for you. They are there for practice, and this should always help give you a boost in overcoming any shortcomings along the way. These are the 10 best ways to hit on someone, especially in the modern day.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
1. Small Talk is Key
Learning how to small talk is very important when trying to flirt with someone. It does not have to be anything spectacular, as setting expectations too high can be a problem. There are plenty of ways to screw up, but getting caught up in this is unnecessary. Sometimes, your mistakes can do you a favor in learning and even keeping the conversation going. It does not always mean that it will end in failure, as it may be seen as positive. Just be sure to avoid beating around the bush for too long.
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If you know how to recover, this can also be something someone appreciates. Start simple, and go from there, as small talk is a good ice breaker for most people. You do not want to be reveling in your problems to begin with, as this can give bad first impressions. Talking about the weather can be frowned upon, but including self-awareness helps. Finding something else to talk about can show how a conversation can evolve and how you can keep it going.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
2. Avoid Rehearsing Too Much
While a little bit of practice does you no harm, going in like you are reading a script can only end in failure. The more you practice, the more you are putting undue pressure on yourself. This means that you are keeping your abilities captured by what you expect others find pleasing. Instead of using this, understand that you can do more by coming in cold-handed. If this does not work, then the other person is not for you. This is where keeping it fresh is important, as avoiding anger and frustration is important.
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Yes, some people appreciate a ham-handed approach like this, but it often does not work. If anything, it should be natural and cute as opposed to scripted and poorly acted. If you come into a conversation like an actor, you will likely forget your lines. This will show that you cannot keep it going and seem more awkward than necessary. It may not mean the other person will not like you anyway, but they can often tell what you are doing. If you feel rejected, there is nothing wrong with going back to the drawing board.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
3. Have Low Expectations
Having lower expectations can keep you in the game longer than if you walked in with sky high expectations. Along with your expectations comes huge letdowns and nasty behavior. You should not just expect a person to like you, even if you are confident they do. You can come off as entitled and almost needy because of it, and it can lead to a bad first impression. If you ask them out, which you should, make it something small like a coffee date. Being sure to have some creativity and originality helps, too.
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Although you may seem like all is going well, you are obviously compensating for something and risking failure. This is where being self-aware comes into play, as keeping a fine balance is very important. You do not want to go in thinking or displaying too little of yourself, but high expectations will not help you in the end. The best thing you can do is go in with little hope of success. With this, you can only make progress to yourself instead of both of you having a problem. Just be sure that this does not end up getting the best of you.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
4. Keep Them Engaged
This advice seems obvious and a little on the nose, but it deserves it’s own place on this list. Keeping people engaged is very general advice, but knowing how to do it is important. If you are experiencing anxiety or nervousness, you can easily overcome this fear of failure. Treat it like therapy and talk about what is bothering you about talking with others. People appreciate honesty, even if they may not like what you are being honest about. If the point is to go out, ask them before a lull in the conversation occurs.
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Your delivery is almost everything in how you interact with others, and your social skills will show. Using hand gestures comes natural for many people, but it is a great way to help someone understand. Creating emphasis is a part of this, as it is a great way for someone to become invested in your story. The more you do this, the more you will capture the other person’s heart and mind. All this requires is putting down your guard and practicing having the guts to do it. You do not want it to be too late and regret it all later on.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
5. Give Them a Chance to Talk
While it is important to put the impetus on yourself, the other person may wish to speak as well. It displays that you are concerned about them for their feelings and investment to be engaged. Hogging all of the time can be seen as selfish and rude. The more you are willing to give the other person a chance to speak, the more they will respect you in return. In terms of first impressions, talking too much will do you little in the way of favors. If you are the person making the approach, you have to be the one to keep it going.
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There is a reason that it is called a conversation. You do not want them to walk away just because you shut them down. Even if you did not and they seemed nice, it is on you to know better. If you want what is ideal, keeping the other person talking is one good way to do it. You cannot please everyone, so be sure to know this going into a conversation. You do not want to talk like you know them, as it shows that you have too much trust. Talking to someone and making them think that they know you is the answer.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
6. Keep The Mystery
The last thing you want during a conversation with someone is divulging too much information. You want to be sure to avoid getting into some kind of argument or debate over stupid things as well. Start slow and easy, then take a step beyond this when the time is right. Do not jump in after a long pause unless you can make it make sense with no awkwardness. It is okay to miss something, as leaving a little room for the other person to think is fine. Get your first impression out of the way, and leave them wanting for more.
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You do not want to talk about yourself too much, as this can lead to a sense of arrogance and deceit. If you speak freely, be sure to allow it to come naturally without too much pretense being involved. Coming off as natural is the best way to show genuine concern for the actual subject. Leaving it up to them to find out, especially when online or a meeting afterwards, is ideal. While it seems easier said than done, there is no escaping the art of practice. Showing that you can connect will take some work, but the effort is worth it.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
7. Reveal Just Enough
While this may sound the same or even contradictory to the last item, it really just comes down to nuance. You want to be honest, but displaying this honesty properly is crucial. You do not want to always come out and say everything unless it is impressive and can be backed up. Sometimes, you want to surprise people with what you do or think. If they found out later that you did not just come out and say it, at least they can appreciate you more. This is why it is important to allow them to ask some of this from you.
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Rushing right out to say that you are the manager of a company will do you little good. Even if it works for some, it is not the ideal first way to make things work. You may be able to pay for their love, but this is no way to keep it. There are better ways to tell the truth to someone, and you want to answer their questions. Be prepared for things like this, as leaving it without at least a clever response will harm you. Be forthright and reveal just enough for the other person to want more.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
8. Display Some Confidence
If you show up to talk with someone, you want them to believe you at your word and take you seriously. If you walk up to someone you want to have sex or a relationship with by just hanging your head, you are screwed. Displaying cowardice is the safe option, but if you expect them to like you anyway, you may be disappointed. It is not to say that you will not get lucky, but fantasizing about your luck will require you getting lucky. There is also room to say that how you dress and smell come into play as well.
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If you are too busy thinking about yourself, you may end up with subpar results. It can be arrogance or anxiety, but leaving yourself vulnerable too much will do more harm. There is a fine balance when it comes to the best conversation. If you have much to compensate for, having a fair bit of confidence is the last thing you want to leave out. Begin to think that all of this nervousness is a waste of time, but do not let it get out of hand. If you are not used to being confident, you will make this even more obvious. Avoid judgement of yourself and others, but do not be afraid to speak your mind freely.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
9. Embrace Your Cowardice
Leaving a positive first impression is important, but it often requires some fine-tuning. Instead of constantly thinking of what to say and how to say it, leaving them surprised can help. If you can embrace your awkward cowardice, you can show how willing you are to be honest. Displaying this kind of confidence can do you a world of favors because of it’s natural embrace. If you make a mistake, be sure to laugh it off naturally. Also, if you eye someone for periods of time, be sure to keep the waiting to a minimum.
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Even if you have room for improvement, this is something that can leave many people looking forward to the next thing. Showing that you are complex and willing to evolve is what others want to see. This should not be taken as you thinking that it is okay to go overboard, as awkwardness is real. To some, this will leave a bad taste in their mouth, but these people are unforgiving. If you want to please them, learning how to help them put their defenses down is more work. If you can do this by showing that it is okay to be a little weird, you will have success.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
10. Try Humor
While being funny can be hard, it is very much worth it when trying to pick someone up. It may not be necessary, but it generally comes naturally if you think less. Of course, this does not mean you should go in trying to deliver a punchline every other sentence. This can come off as you attempting to be something you are not. If you can deliver, it can work, but using some subtlety will almost always offer the best results. Being funny is a great way to display your ability to lighten the conversation up.
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If you have comedic expertise, you probably already know this. You should be sure to keep the conversation light, but it does not always hurt to educate with dark humor. Laughing at yourself is generally undesirable, but if it is well placed, you should be alright. The problem comes when you start laughing at yourself all of the time, including the maniacal laughter. This kind of behavior can come off as strange and off-putting. This is the last thing you want, as off-putting humor can make or break a conversation.
10 Successful Ways to Hit on Someone
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Godspeed
