Having an affair is one thing, but keeping one is an entirely different problem … story. You have to have bravado and an ability to play the game without expecting too much. There are quips along the way, but displaying your ability to keep it going only begins to display your endurance. If you want this relationship to last for a decade, then you have to put in your time. There is no real way to make the process of having an affair easy. It will be harder than a shrimp on Viagra, but you may end up with that lover at some point. Just be aware that the lover may end up doing the same thing to you, but everyone needs improvements. These are the 10 amazing ways to keep an affair going strong.
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Things may turn weird at some point, but this is only more reason to power through. If an affair tells you that you should discontinue, then you should spit in it’s face. There is nothing like having one to prove just how far you can go down a road of uncompliant self-destruction. Even in situations where both sides are having an affair, there are reasons to go on. You may even find out that your lover were having an affair with your affair’s spouse. This is the constant surprise that should keep you coming back for more, as drama takes centerstage. It will turn into the addiction that keeps everyone hooked, where codependency is the driving cause. It will take some determination, but you will get there someday.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
1. Keep it Secret
If you want to keep banging that backdoor, then you have to be sure to open it quietly first. You see, there is no way to have an affair without secrecy, but this secrecy requires a plan. If someone were to find out, then the affair would go the way of the dodo and become caput. You have to be sure to whisper when the hubby is around, or you have to be sure that the backseat mudslide makes little noise. It is not like the marriage mattered all too much to begin with, but hiding in plain sight helps.
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The affair having man or woman has to keep it cool, and the victim of their foul foreplay has to be fair game. While some people may not care about being found out or finding out, it still adds to the sense of intrigue. There is no true affair without the other person caring, but it is best not to find out the hard way. At the very worst, you will have to clear your call history every couple of weeks and hide your newfound gay lover. It is not like marriages have not ended when someone found out their true calling anyway.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
2. Have Good Sex
Beyond having your little diary sessions without the significant other being around, you have to have good sex. If you want to be that princess or knight in shining armor, you have to provide good and explosive action. While simple foreplay will do the trick, it is not always good enough. You have to provide more than what the other person was providing before you without taking it too far. He or she may still not leave, but at least they have something to go back to when things get rough.
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If you are lucky, then that special someone may not go back to shagging the prior relationship. They may have even been avoiding that kind of interaction for a while. Since it is important for both sides to be having a good time, both sides should be sure to bring the fun. If this does not happen, then you will find out that you have been replaced really, really fast. This is the last thing you want to do if 4chan is the last thing you want to think about.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
3. Avoid Contact
Part of the secrecy of this kind of relationship is keeping any and everyone else as far away as possible. One must be discreet when having a meeting at the house, but it is no different when doing it at a hotel. If a significant other is home, then climbing through windows is a possibility for your extramarital lover. There are even solutions that involve never coming into contact with a person’s lover at all.
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It is on both the lover and the married cheater to keep things as quiet as possible, as being candid keeps suspicion at bay. You may even want to knock on the door and have the non-cheating spouse answer the door to help hide in plain sight. This may be a bad idea, but you may find out that your lover’s wife or husband does not care. If anything, you may just end up finding out that they want to watch you scuffle.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
4. Keep it Away from the House
Unless the lady or gentleman is a swinger or their long-term lover is a voyeur, you should keep it away from the house. There are plenty of parking lots you can go to, and you even have a choice of car. You can even find that special parking spot or urinal at the back of the lot to help with some privacy. Unless the other lover is using an uber to get there, you can park the cars side by side. This will create a more trusting environment where at least one side is hiding the romping.
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Since paying for a hotel room is so expensive, it is best to avoid it. Even if you both plan on staying out overnight, that twenty bucks may not be worth it for that Motel6. If anything, this room will remind the married lover of their homelife too much and cause some flashbacks. This is the last thing you want, so try a Burger King parking lot instead.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
5. Have a Sense of Humor
There is nothing like swallowing guilt with a few good laughs, but it has to actually be funny. We do not want to be crying our lives away without someone there to clean up that mess. If you are that kind of person who ties shame to being found out, then you are usually fine. Unfortunately, there are far too many people who feel the shame as they do that something they know is wrong.
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This makes them just as bad or worse than simply not caring at all, but at least they know better. Their goodness has nothing to hide behind, so a few good laughs should keep them going. Since this is not a one-size fits all, it requires a little bit of effort. Both sides should offer a few good self-deprecating laughs at the other’s expense. Even a little bit of sadomasochism will make that hard drink of seaman’s wine a little easier to chug.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
6. Have Manners
Having manners is key to keeping any sexy woman around, but it is just as important to men. If anything, a man will find a woman more disgusting if she lacks any kind of decency. Simply sitting around in a wifebeater with ketchup stains all day displays a lack of class. You have to be willing to show that you care, as this is important to just about anyone. Where the continue to live is still their home base, and this is indicative of their love. This means you should understand that it takes little to have them lose interest all together.
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It doe not take much to be the perfect cuck, but you have to take it by the balls, literally. Even displaying your slight of hand is just the type of magic that will force the shebang. You may even be the kind of rubber who knows how to keep it cleaner than a carpet burn. Just because you have manners, does not mean the other person will fall for it. Because they know how to con just as well as you, you have to take it that extra level further.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
7. Be Dirty
If you thought that your sex before this affair was fun, then watch out for that special someone looking for more. It is important to get down and dirty when it is in your best interest to keep a lover at arm’s reach. You do not want them to be too close, but you want them there when you need them the most. There will be a lot of blame thrown your way when they are hurt, but they deep down appreciate the nasty flavor.
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It is one thing to dirty talk someone, but it is another thing to become abusive. You want to be able to walk that fine line between softcore touching and dirty assault. Even though it is a fine line to walk, there is nothing more pleasing than doing so the right way. If you want to keep it dirty, then you have to make sure you know how kick dirt in someone’s face. Just be sure to keep it outside of your own family.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
8. Stir up Drama
Everyone is a drama queen, but it matters how much you are willing to show it to your king or queen. You want to have them begging for more, but you have to keep them intrigued with mystery. Since they are lacking any real emotional depth, their kink may involve drama and makeup sex. This is the gasoline to their car, and it is what keeps them going for more. Without it, they are empty, as it is what they have learned from their predicaments.
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There is no use in driving if their is no final destination, so you have to make sure to have the map at ready. It is the best way to see the interest of your lover, and it can be the hook that sinks them. If all else fails, there is nothing like stirring up some drama to make the flood of passion come back again even stronger; they will love you even more. In the end, they just wanted to feel wanted more.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
9. Keep it Interesting
While meeting at the same place at the same time can be fun, you have to change it up sometimes. If things keep going the same way, then it will eventually become stale over time. There are plenty of examples that can help, but it is important to keep it simple. There is nothing like your lover showing up to your house before dinner time and giving your spouse flowers to hand to you. Remember, it takes being married to have an affair, as simply screwing somebody else’s girlfriend is just cheating.
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You have to keep it fresh, but keeping it new does not always mean that it is welcome. If you are knocking over vases, then be sure to stick it where the sun don’t shine without their permission. Use your scheming brain to avoid having what was done to them happen to you. There are theme parks you can go to for cotton candy and beer, but it doesn’t end there. You can purchase the fee, but you can buy the tickets only after realizing that your mutual friends work there; it keeps them on their feet.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
10. Display Talent
There is raw talent, and then there is a woman’s ability to juggle a pair of balls. In a talentless world, it only goes to show how far true talent can take us. If you are some loser who just sits at home all day, then you are screwed; your lover will find little interest in going all of the way. They may keep coming back for the raw and unfiltered sex, but this is all you will get. You can lose your job, but you have to be sure to get right back up on your feet to show that you care.
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There is no pride in being a beta male or gold digger, but even if you are, you can win their heart over. It is something you will have to get used to, as the other person will at least feign a lack of concern. While you can take advantage of their pity, it will take you nowhere in the long run. If all else fails, at least show her or him how many hotdogs you can fit into your mouth. You have to take these risks for them to keep that little interest they had in you to begin with.
The 10 Ways to Have an Affair
11. Have Money
There is nothing like mooching off of each other in every single way a married couple would without the extra hassle. Your lover will fall into your arms even faster, but you will find out the hard way when the leave you too. This is why having money is worth it, as it displays manners, but it also shows that you had them as well. It will help each of you defensively compare yourselves to each other, but it will always end in a stalemate.
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The money can also show each of you who the other is, as expectations will be on constant display. You can buy them their favorite meal, but then they can try to one-up you the next time you meet. There is nothing like having money, because you will have a lot of debts to pay. It also serves as the best leverage you have against the one who will eventually hurt you. If lacking money was not enough, you will more than find out that something more like heart was missing to begin with.
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