Social anxiety can be one of the worst things someone can deal with when trying to interact with other people. It’s not always the easiest to deal with others, even for veterans of social interaction and low inhibition. It’s not like any of us haven’t been privy to these interactions of awkwardness, but we all want to improve. We’re all always learning, and it’s just a matter of mostly what and when. These are the 7 ways to overcome social anxiety properly.
You seem very testy, young padawan!
This list is here to help the conversational aspect of social anxiety. This is those looking to shoehorn their way into it or looking to immediately test themselves. Otherwise, you are already there, and it’s time to push it! Talking is a good way to get past your own personal tolerances and thresholds. Yes, it may not be social anxiety per se, but it helps. If anything, it’s mostly talking technique you must overcome to get over your anxiety for good.
Trust me, I know what you’re saying, but could you repeat yourself, please?
We all know that talking with others can be a pain and can carry all sorts of obstacles. It doesn’t have to be that way; however, it takes time and practice like everything. I’ve decided to list below seven easy to follow ways to deal with “dealing” and conversing with people when you’re out and about. These are seven simple ways to ease your way into better, more candid and cordial social interaction with others.
7 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
Best ways to deal with social anxiety…
Walk Into A Conversation With Low Expectations
We’ve all joined a group of people at a social gathering wanting to speak up and feeling like we have to be the silent to gain a grasp of the conversation. There’s no need in being nervous, because the more you think, the more you’ll likely be judging yourself. Remember that you’re your own worst enemy when it comes to your perception of what others think. Also, the more pretense you walk in with, the more weight you put on yourself. You’re not Atlas, so quit carrying the world on your shoulders.
Try to be succinct without thinking too much, but know that either way you’ll be fine, maybe.
There’s a common saying that involves expectations being low and “hope” being high. Leave cliched platitudes out of the equation, unless it helps solve your problem. If it’s suitable aid, and it doesn’t create mental clutter, have at it, boss man. The idea is to be slow and steady to win the race, and to not go hogwash in like a speed-racer. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a conversation comfortable, even if you feel as though the boards creak a bit.
7 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
Best ways to deal with social anxiety…
Become Accustomed To Small Talk
I’m sure that many of you have heard the advice about greeting a cashier with a “hello.” This really does work to help acclimate you to communicating better with others. Next time you walk into a store to get your condoms, make sure to drop a few words to an employee. It’s never too late to start asking questions about contraceptives either; this stuff is always a nice ice-breaker.
Give me some ice, so I can break it!
When you check out, letting the cashier know you care, leave them with more than with a simple “nice day.” They’re more worried about working their job and keeping it, so don’t fret. This should typically mean that victory is nigh, and failure is always a little easier to deal with.
If only the small things would listen to me, I’d be a big man. Sorry, there seems to be an echo chamber in my drawers.
There’s no need to rush it only to flush it down the toilet. It’s not like any of us haven’t heard this stuff before. An exposure hierarchy helps, so start low and aim high. We have also had our own fair share of run ins with so-called awkward people, and you’re not alone. In this light, don’t give in to your negative feelings of the downtrodden or self-consciousness. “Don’t worry,” as they say, and “stay fappy.”
7 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
Best ways to deal with social anxiety…
Learning How To Be Okay With The Other Person Talking
It’s always okay not to speak up and to be okay with the silence in conversation. I’m sure many of you have heard this before, and it’s true. Given the situation, speaking is only second in importance to overall interaction in communication with others. Being kind, considerate, and willing to listen is actually a very large part of keeping up with the everyone. Most of the time, the other person isn’t even thinking about your ability, and even if so, it doesn’t matter. Nodding your way through a conversation has no shame, even if it is a common pattern among those who are afraid to talk.
I’m fine, but are you fine? You are? That’s good. Oh, yes, I am fine. Are you?
It’s okay, and if social interaction is hard, there are ways to curb it. It doesn’t always have to be a significant challenge. You can conquer some simple steps by simply letting the other person talk. Don’t try to remember everything you have to say. You’ll probably remember better by thinking less about it. Also, your social anxiety is the last thing on the other person(s) mind. Keep your thoughts in check, and realize that trying less is doing more. Keep what pressure you put on yourself in check, and dominate the gauge.
7 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
Best ways to deal with social anxiety…
Be Creative In Your Approach
Don’t worry about following the same approach each and every time you go to speak with someone, especially a stranger. It’s not always necessary to try or think too hard. Also, it’s always best to simply go with the flow in speaking with someone, unless otherwise necessary. Most of the time, a simple nod is good enough to relay the proper message being conveyed. Know that contrivances never really hurt anyone. If anything, they’re helped improve a conversation, even if a little bit strange at times.
Being creative doesn’t include wearing a trench coat, walking up to someone, and revealing yourself asking “What’re you buying?”.
Reading your recipient is a good skill to have, but it’s certainly not necessary. Be willing to learn, and don’t let the silence or complexity overwhelm you. It’s not as hard as it seems, it’s only as hard as you make it. Don’t put pressure on others, and the same judgment of character will extend to you. Remember, it’s not a competition.
Cannot have a single blank space, but blank space is necessary.
People like to talk about themselves, so don’t allow this to be anything but a breezy way to allow the conversation to taper off. Coming into a conversation with wild shenanigans can help. As crazy as it seems, coming up with a silly idea to catch people of guard can also open up conversation as a whole. This can take a whole lot of pressure off of you by possibly laying it on them.
7 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
Learn To Not Force Any Unnecessary Conversation Is One of the Best Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
We’ve all been on that end of a conversation where we’re picking up the other person’s slack. It doesn’t mean that because they do this that we must follow their lead. You need not put unnecessary pressure on yourself. You’re not a con artist, and you’re not looking to con anyone else with disingenuous nonsense or behavior.
Hey, I heard your wife decided to let lose and share a bed with the jet-lagged pimp in from Queens down the street.
Predicting the other person’s mood is barely the concern. Social interaction doesn’t have to be difficult, and the last thing you need is your mind allowing itself to overthink. There’s also no shame in even having a practice session with friends or people you know. Learning to be comfortable with yourself is the first thing you can do. So quit with the over-achieving, and maybe learn to stay in the conversational box comfortably and without fear of breaching it.
7 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
Writing Down A List Is A Best Way to Overcome Social Anxiety
Don’t read or memorize things through like a you’re auditioning for a play. This would only serve to exaggerate the fear you already have going in. The idea when performing is to catch yourself when you see yourself trying too hard. If push comes to shove, there’s no shame in listing out a list of talking points. Talking with yourself in the mirror helps as well. As goofy as it sounds, the plethora of 80’s teen drama flicks had it right to a degree about something.
Eh, the list can wait. Now, what do I need for groceries?
Since most people are always trying to remember what their talking point is, it may be useful to write down a list when it matters. This obviously doesn’t matter when you’re having an ergo unplanned conversation. Also, try not to worry too much about remembering. Not every idea you have is necessary for a good conversation.
Don’t you worry, no one will judge your hand-writing, because that’s the problem.
Imagine it almost as if you’re going on stage for the first time. With this mindset, going to the worst possible scenario can certainly help with the small talk. As redundant as it all sounds, it actually is. Going out to talk with people isn’t a bucket list, but it is a mindset. Carry this mindset as much as you can, because realizing that you can also achieve it will make the long run easier.
7 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
Don’t Feel The Need To Catch The Other Person Off Guard Is One of the Last Best Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety
The basic plan of attack as mentioned is to not try too hard, that it’s obvious. Not only this, because you should make a list of things you don’t have to do. You don’t have to be funny, clever, or wise. You’re not there to give them anything more than an open ear, so wait for the natural inclination to occur. This will rise lead to your creative and charismatic ability more than anything.
Just listen to your gut. Isn’t that what so many people say?
Remember, it’s not like you need to approach anyone. If anything, since there’s no rush, simply wait for them. Waiting for folks puts the onus on them to speak, so allow yourself to insert and interject as a form of practice.
Patience is a virtue… I think.
Interacting with other folks is barely trying at all. So the next time you see your friends giggling, realize that it can be you, and it’s not as hard as it seems. The other person is feeling just as much as you, even if it may not seem like it. Also, realize others don’t care or know all of your little internally judging quirks that make you “weird,” but also intriguing and self-conscious.
Well, of course I’m self conscious. I am me, and you are you.
Judgement from others comes from the outside and not within. This is perspective to gain knowing they don’t know what you don’t know. Going out of your way doesn’t always go a long way, so remember to stay sharp and learn fast.
Remember to not be too hard on yourself. We’re all learning here, and some of us are still trying to catch up. Catching up is nothing to be afraid of. I’ve been on the poop end of the stick, and it’s not always fun. If there’s anything you can gain from this post, it’s that others can relate.
“Contrivances never hurt anyone… until they did.”
All in all, you can go see a therapist if necessary. You can also create an exposure hierarchy and partake in breathing practices. Establishing goals in a large part of this, as well as maintaining a rational outlook. Make sure to read other self-help guides too. I’ve listed mine above, and I plan on continuing this subject in the future.
Would you like me to give you catharsis?
There you have it, folks. I’ve listed the steps, and the rest is up to you! Get out there and show the world what you’re made of! Remember this: You can do it!
Some Help: https://www.nimh.nih.gov
Go low and aim high when talking so to avoid being disappointed in yourself when speaking with others.Getting used to small talk only helps you learn how to become comfortable with even the most uncomfortable situations.When the other person is talking and won’t shut up, allow them to continue so as to take the pressure off yourself.Learn a technique or two in turning speech into a fun game, because setting interesting goals can make all the difference.The less talk the better until it becomes natural to carry on a conversation on your own (simple).Lists are a good way to keep track of your progress and when it counts.Play fair ball, and realize it doesn’t take too much trickery to get by every single back and forth.- Done!
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